You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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