Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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