New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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