Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
