At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
