Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i came on her dog
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
