Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
