It's just like the Real World with babies
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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