Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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