Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Come on in and take your pants off
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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