man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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