I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
