FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
