Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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