Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
