i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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