so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
