my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize