talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
