I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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