i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
