You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
