It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
