I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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