yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
