he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
