he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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