What tipped you off? The sombrero?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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