i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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