I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
