She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
