And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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