Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
