Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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