i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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