It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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