I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
