yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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