how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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