Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
