she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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