Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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