I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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