He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
