I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
how drunk are you?
Several
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
