Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
