god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
