matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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