6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I need water and some morals
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
