Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
