You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize