and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
