i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
