She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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