Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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