I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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