I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
