I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
