Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You took a bar mat shot.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
