how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
