i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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